And now how to shower like a man

How to shower like a man

• Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile.
• Walk naked to bathroom. If wife seen, shake at her making the "Woo" sound.
• Look at manly physique in mirror and suck in gut to see if you have pecs (no).
• Admire size of you know what in mirror, scratch privates and smell fingers for one last whiff.
• Get in shower.
• Don't bother to look for wash cloth - don't use one.
• Wash armpits.
• Wash privates and the surrounding area.
• Crack up at how loud farts sound in the shower.
• Wash butt, leaving hair on soap.
• NOW !!! Wash face.
• Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner.
• Make shampoo Mohican. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror.
• Pee (in shower).
• Rinse off and get out of shower.
• Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain outside bath for whole shower time.
• Partially dry off.
• Look at self in mirror again, flex muscles and admire size of you know what (again).
• Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor.
• Leave bathroom light and fan on.
• Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, go "Yeah baby" and thrust pelvis at her.
• Put on yesterday's clothes.